Personal Feelings
by emo barbie
Summary: “Having Personal feelings about your enemies is one of the worse sins you can commit.” Ocelot/Snake Metal Gear 3


Title: **Personal Feelings**

Author: **Emo Barbie**

Game: **Metal Gear 3**

Rating: **T**

Pairing: **Ocelot/Snake**

Summary: _**"Having Personal feelings about your enemies is one of the worse sins you can commit." **_

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**Personal Feelings**

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_Why was it that I was helping Snake? Why indeed...because I had promised to Boss that I wouldn't shoot him? But that didn't mean I had to help him...because I wanted to kill him myself...? No, actually I believe it was more than that...maybe Volgin was right....maybe I had fallen for Snake. Yeah, and maybe one day monkeys will fly. But...I can't really put a meaning to the way I feel. I mean at first it was just this intense curiosity about him that drove me to find him, but now..._

Ocelot took aim and fired three rounds, startling both Snake and Tatyana, or at least that was what she had claimed her name to be, for Ocelot a more fitting name would have been Skank. And though he had seemed to have been aiming towards snake, everyone knows that Ocelot never misses a target, especially a stationary one...no, he hadn't been aiming at Snake to begin with, it was that women. That women that just seemed to get on his nerves. She was always there, always! Always getting in his way, always wooing people with her disgusting charms...even snake, he was sure of it, had fallen for it. He had tested it.

_I hadn't meant to shoot him, it was an accident, the whole thing was simply to test him, to see if he would save her. I knew exactly where the bullet was. It was in the second gun, only one shot away...but obviously he had known that too, cause the moment I went to shoot her he kicked it. My hand slipped and I pulled the trigger...the bullet hitting one of the bright blue eyes that captivated me. _

That bullet hadn't been meant for him, no it had been meant for the Skank, the bullet for him was hung around his neck...the same one he had almost shot Volgin with before The Boss had stopped him. But who could blame him? It was hard just sitting back and watching the one person you've seemed to have some kind of attachment too, being beaten and tortured again and again.

_I had already tried the bullet once, loaded it into the gun after wrenching it off of my neck...but I never got a chance to shoot it before he jumped...that was what scared me the most...yes, I tried to kill him...but if that man should die by anyone's hand, I wanted it to be mine. No, not wanted...HAD to be mine. Even if he died by his own hands, it was the same, but...he came up, and I had a clear shot...I had the bullet right there...but for some reason...I didn't...instead, I let him go. I knew it wouldn't be the last I saw of him though, it was like...how do I say it...destiny. Our destiny to be enemies. And my destiny to fall for something that could never be...does that sound stupid?_

He had fallen hard for a man...a man who's name he didn't even know. But that just spurred him on all the more, wanting to know what kind of man Snake was, wanting to know everything about him, but at the same time, wanting to know little. It was part of that mysterious cover he put himself in that drove Ocelot mad. But then again, you could always say that Ocelot himself was a little mysterious; after all Ocelot wasn't his real name. But compared to the other, his secrets were small.

_Yeah, right. John. Even when the name left my own mouth it sounded stupid. This man, one who could go and defeat Volgin and the rest of the Cobra's...called himself John? I never believed it for a moment...but even so I found it better then calling him Snake. Why? Because it felt that I was able to draw closer to him. Snake was the name of my enemy, but by calling him John, it was just...different, you know. _

One bullet, the same bullet he had placed on a chain and hung around his neck for the second time. He tore it off, feeling that tug and a slight pain at the back of his neck as the chain broke before he placed it into the barrel of his gun. He took his other one, the one that Snake had ended up with and began juggling them. He watched as Snake's eyes followed the one...

_I knew he had never lost sight of the bullet. Even when I sat down the guns his eyes were always trained on the left, towards the bullet, and so...I allowed him to grab it. Does that sound stupid? Maybe for you, but for me it didn't matter. Die by his hands, or be killed by mine. Either way that death sounded perfect. If I had killed him I would have lived on...but for what? Die by his hands and I would die a fitting death, and he would go on to be great _

Ocelot stared at Snake, both of their gun raised, and Ocelot waited for the other to shoot...waited for the sharp pain that would course threw his chest...or arm, wherever the other decided to shoot him...but he didn't. Ocelot studied the other, a frown crossing his face as he looked Snake up and down. The other had already lowered his gun.

_He didn't shoot me when he had the chance, even though he knew that if I haf chosen the right one I would have never hesitated to shoot him....at least....I don't think. But that was me, I knew Snake, I had watched him, he never left anyone willing to kill him alive. Hell, he took out that stupid Major with a single bullet to the head, even when all he needed was to simply put the other to sleep. He only needed the uniform for sometime...but that's not how snake rolls. He had even taken out The Boss, why? Because Snake was the one who thrived to live..._

"So what happened?"

Ocelot glanced up from staring down at his clamped hands. "What happened?" He let out a small chuckle as he shook his head. "I asked why he didn't shoot me..." Ocelot turned to look at paramedic. "He never said anything...but for some reason he couldn't meet my eye either. So...I jumped. I figured that if I did, hell, why not right? I had no reason to stay there and kill him, if he was still alive...I had something to live for too...you know."

Paramedic shook her head. "You are so stupid. I mean really, joining with the Americans and then _trying _to kill Jack....that's not gonna look good you know."

"Yeah, well...what can I say?" Ocelot shrugged his shoulders. "It's kinda how I roll."

Paramedic stood up. "They're about to award Snake with his metal." She nodded towards the White House. At the moment the two were in the garden, Paramedic tending to Ocelot's wounds. "I gotta go."

Ocelot nodded as the girl turned away. "But..." Paramedic turned to look back at the other. "He left me alone, ya know...maybe there's something between us after all."

"Yeah..." Paramedic shook her head with a small smile. "Maybe there is..."

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_People's values change over time._

Snake made his way down the hall towards the President's office.

_And so do the leaders of a country. _

His eyes swept the floor as everyone moved out of the way, Signit, The Major, Paramedic. But as he looked at each of them, he noticed that there were other's he saw. Just like he had back in the jungle.

_So there's no such thing as an enemy in absolute terms._

He saw The Boss...and Sorrow as well in the crowd, though they were not in the line that had formed for him.

_The enemies we fight are only in relative terms,constantly changing with the times._

Snake turned his gaze back towards the Man before him, the man known as their president. Higher in statis then anyone in America. A man who, with a single order, can cause a man to be a hero...or a villian in this country. Luckily for Snake he was being labeled a hero.

_Just because soldiers are on the same side right now doesn't mean they always will be._

Snake saluted the other before he was pinned with a badge and the title of Big Boss was bes toyed upon him.

There was a sudden flash of red and Snake turned to see Ocelot staring at him threw the window. He was taken aback as the man signaled him with a small grin on his face.

"_Having Personal feelings about your enemies is one of the worse sins you can commit." _

Snake turned to see The Boss staring at him, though her body was a dim blue and he could just barely see the things behind her, he still heard her words clearly.

Snake glanced back at Ocelot, who had finally placed his hands down and was now staring at Snake with a look that he had seen Eva give him quite a few times. But unlike with her, he felt a sudden skip of his heart.

Personal feelings?

Snake turned his eyes back towards the president as they allowed their hands to drop, the camera's finally having stopped flashing and the media stepping back. Snake took a set away from the president and turned back towards the crowd before him, a hand placed lightly over the metal he had just received, though he was actually more focused on his sudden rapid heart beat.

Is that what this is?

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**I was actually quite unsure how to end this, see I wanted it to be Ocelot talking to someone, at first I thought maybe Raikov, but then I realized that even if you don't kill the major it seems he dies O_o What? But when I completed the game for like the fourth time, I realized that there are times when you can press First Person view, and so every cutscene I was holding it. Well while shaking the president's hand I noticed Ocelot giving Snake the signal {What does the signal mean anyways?} threw the window and I was like O_o how'd he get here! XD, so this ending suddenly popped up.**

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